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Asperger's Syndrome |
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Relate Leaflet Concerning Asperger's Syndrome - UK Relate Leaflet Concerning Asperger's SyndromeDoes your partner's behaviour puzzle, baffle and bewilder you, cause you deep hurt and distress, make you doubt your own sanity, yet your partner appears to be oblivious to all of this? It may be of some help to you if you learned something about Asperger's Syndrome. What is Asperger's Syndrome? Asperger's Syndrome is considered to be part of the range of autistic disorders, and is a continuum or spectrum of neurological origin, that is to say it can affect people in very varying degrees of severity. It is thought to be a dysfunction in the frontal lobes where the social brain is located. It is only partially understood but is the subject of much research. While the cause is not yet known it is thought to have a genetic component. How does it affect people? It affects their ability to understand another person's feelings, emotions and thoughts, and affects their social intuition, social obligation and social conscience. It may affect their ability to interpret their own emotions and feelings. Many people with AS have difficulty relating to babies and children and in understanding their needs. We are not talking here about male chauvinism, men behaving badly, or the well-known male difficulty with expressing or discussing emotions. We are not talking here about being selfish, egotistical or inconsiderate. Asperger's Syndrome is not a character flaw that somebody could correct if they wanted to. Everyone is sometimes inconsiderate selfish, or egotistical, the difference is that they have the ability to recognise this and can show remorse. Everyone has a morning routine, the difference is they do not become very distressed if this is interrupted. The person with Asperger's Syndrome is astonished that anyone has taken offence or been upset by what they have said or done. Each person is uniquely affected. Asperger's Syndrome is considered to affect more males than females, but current research suggests that this belief may need to be reviewed. Some of the symptoms which may occur in affected male adults are:
At the end of the spectrum where a person is able to work and make close relationships, Asperger's Syndrome is a hidden disorder. It is usually only after a couple start living together that the symptoms begin to be noticeable. The affected partner may appear to be extremely selfish, uninterested in other peoples problems, emotionally indifferent, ego-centric, and cause confusion and chaos by obtuse social reasoning and misinterpreting what is going on. For the affected partner the challenge of trying to maintain an intimate relationship while not understanding why their partner is angry and upset can cause such stress that the symptoms become worse. This can happen after the arrival of children, when a wife previously happy to be the one who did everything then looks to her partner for help and support which may not be forthcoming. Adult Partnerships Due to the past belief that people with Asperger's syndrome would not have the social skills needed to cope with a partner relationship, their needs and those of their partners for support, information and understanding have only recently begun to be addressed. It is now a well-established and accepted fact that some people with Asperger's syndrome are able to form adult relationships, marry and have children. Edward Ritvo and his team at UCLA have studied autism intensively since 1963. During the 1980's they identified adults with AS. Their attention was drawn by the spouses who noted that their partners had symptoms similar to their autistic children who the team had diagnosed and were treating. A letter to the editor of the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders was published in 1988, and the scientific paper was published in medical literature in 1996. At the end of the autistic spectrum where a person is able to work and make close relationships, Asperger's syndrome is a hidden disorder. It is usually only after a couple start living together that the symptoms begin to be noticeable. For the partner with AS the challenge of trying to maintain an intimate relationship while not understanding why their partner is angry and upset can cause such stress that the symptoms may become worse. For the partner of a person with AS, their bewilderment at the puzzling behaviour of their spouse can cause deep distress and a breakdown in their health. Inevitably this means that there is a high divorce rate amongst marriages where one partner has AS. Research in Holland suggests that this is as high as 80%, and research recently done in the UK is due to be published next year. It is obviously essential that to encourage relationships to continue, support to partners is given in the form of advice and guidance on coping strategies, information and understanding of how their spouse is affected, and emotional support from other partners. Many partners live in fear that their spouse's employer will find out and dismiss them. For the partner with AS, there is as yet little help available. For those who express the wish for a formal diagnosis, it is extremely difficult to find competent clinicians who are able to diagnose AS in adults. GPs usually insist on referral first to local services who do not have the necessary knowledge or experience. No way has yet been found of explaining to a person with AS, in a way they can comprehend, why their behaviour causes such hurt and upset in their partner. There is also a great need for counsellors who have a thorough understanding of AS. Many couples have in the past been to Relate which has not helped, but their supervisors have now been issued with Guidance Notes which will hopefully help them to identify if AS symptoms are part of a couple's difficulties. The National Autistic Society have a leaflet 'Help for Partners of People with Asperger's Syndrome', and their Regional Development Officers have partners' lists, contacts, and now hold meetings for partners. In response to enquiries to the Helpline, a booklet has recently been published for children who have a parent with AS. Many people with AS have difficulty relating to babies and children and in understanding their needs. A booklet for partners is also being prepared. Dr Tony Attwood held the first ever workshop for partners in March 1999 at the London head office of the NAS, and it is hoped that another workshop will be arranged for May 2000 when Dr. Attwood next visits the UK. This workshop could be held in the Midlands to enable more partners from the north of England, Scotland and Wales to attend. A transcript of the March workshop is available on the NAS website and also the FAAAS website. Dr. Attwood has suggested that conferences concerning adults with AS should include in the programme relationship issues and help for partners. Further help in the UK: The National Autistic Society The NAS has a leaflet: "Help for Partners of People with Asperger's Syndrome", which includes a publications list and case histories. Development Officers for each region have partners' lists, contacts, hold meetings, workshops, etc. Further Resources: Asperger's Syndrome by Dr Tony Attwood Shadow Syndromes by John J Ratey and Catherine Johnson Eleven possibly autistic parents by Edward R, Ritvo, M.D. et al FAAAS Website Acknowledgements to Dr. Tony Attwood for technical editing of the original leaflet. |
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